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Sometimes, well, maybe often in our career, relationships, and life, in general, we face fear. Because of doubts, we miss better job opportunities, promotions, perhaps the love of life. We lose a chance for a better experience, success. We don’t know how to overcome fear.
We all afraid to make the first step, to ask raise or promotion. To propose ourselves to one or another job position, because we are worried that we’re not smart, prepared and good enough. Afraid that we don’t have enough experience or maybe we’re facing the fear of rejection.
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You know, once with me happened a strange story. My boss told something that wasn’t quite right and polite. So the next day I decided fearlessly to face him. I told him that this kind of behavior he can’t have with me. We are all humans; we are coworkers.
Yes, he is my boss, but that doesn’t allow him to be disrespectful.
Do you know what he answered?
He said to me that he was joking and that I imagined everything. I was surprised, and for a few seconds, I was in stupefaction.
So that moment, I understood that he was afraid to face me and have a rational discussion. He faces the fear to apologize and at the same way, admit that he was mistaken. Sometimes people wrongly think that apologizing is equal to humiliate themselves. Well, folks, let me be honest with you. Be able to apologize is meaning that you are human, kind, and self-conscious that everyone can make a mistake.
In other words, I want to say that everyone has fears and someone odd ones.
I was afraid to confront my boss, but I decided that I need to get through and to face up the issue.
But in the end, instead of explaining and solving the problem. But what I get instead is that I have no more respect for that person. Honestly, for a manager, a boss to lose the respect of co-workers is enormous damage for the boss itself and a company. Let’s see what I learn, and maybe you can find some tips on how to overcome fear and live the life you desire.
Unfortunately or luckily we are not forever.
Let me be honest with you; I don’t want to have regrets in my life. When I am 80 years old, I want to remember all the spectacular places I visited, the experiences that I have, the career path that I took, people that I met. I don’t want to regret my career path, thinking that I could have more. I want to remember that I was happy with my family; all those big Italian lunches that I did, a friendship that lasts life long and much more.
We are not here forever, and yes we can be afraid, but our fear shouldn’t stop us from riding life.
So whenever fear is overwhelming you, think that you will not be here for the next hundred years. And you must act now.
Recently I read an excellent book. You should read it too. Five seconds rule by Mel Robbins is the book that speaks a lot about how anybody can have a better life, career, see more, travel more, and not be afraid to do that. She taught people to count 5-4-3-2-1 and then act. Even if you face fear, what it is reasonable, go for it.
When I’m not hundred percent sure to do something, when I feel insecure and horrified, I ask my self what the worse thing could happen if I do, or request, or act? In this analytical way, I forget about my fear and go for it.
Let be honest, what could happen. If you ask for a promotion or raise the worse thing is that you’ll get no as the answer. Is it so bad? Well, I don’t think so. At least you know.
But think when you ask something, and you get a yes as an answer. It feels so good. And the reflection on your mind is: Thank goodness I asked!
So be bold. Face your fear and win on it. You need to go out from your comfort zone, step up, and go for it.
It won’t change anything if you wait. But it could change if you start to act.
If you are not feeling slightly uncomfortable, you are not putting yourself out there and not moving towards your goal. If you feel comfortable, this is when you should be afraid. It is a sign you are not taking the steps that will help you get closer to your goal.
In the end, no magical potion could get you to face your fear. You need to understand for you that you and only you can do it. Work on how to overcome fear. Read the books, watch tutorials, go for it. Like Mel Robbins says in her book:
If you think that you not enough, then instead of complaining about that, try to understand what areas or skills that you are lacking. You can individuate corses to take o books to read. Invest in yourself.
And I get, believe me. It hard to put your effort into something, maybe work so hard, and get nothing from it.
Maybe you’re a young woman who is working at the same workplace for quite a while, and you are pretty damn good in your job. But to get a promotion or maybe to conquer new clients, or sell better a new product/ service you invest in your skills. It is perhaps a course online, or you flew to another country and took a seminar to get better at sailing. And you get better.
One day you go to your boss and brings him all the work that you did, tasks that you accomplish, asking for a raise, or promotion. And you’re positive that you’re it. But your manager tells you that it isn’t possible because you didn’t do anything unusual and extraordinary this year.
And the worst thing my dear girl is that you believe in it. And you agree that probably you’re not enough.
Girl, let me tell you, you are ENOUGH!
Don’t be afraid to say to your boss that you are good enough, prepared enough because you work hard to get there. Overcome your fear! I suggest you to read this pretty awesome post. I founded it very useful.
There will be no right time to do something. However, let see one specific point that does stop us from doing what we want. One of the most significant issues it how to overcome the fear of money. Or more precisely, fear not to have money to live, to eat to pay bills and to provide to our families.
Let get honest here!
It is pretty easy to live your dream life, change your career and choose the best for you, that by the way is your dream job, when you have mone. And when your financial situation is so stable that nothing could break it down.
But for all other regular human beans? How should they act?
It isn’t about money, but about not having enough to live, pay bills and provide to your family.
So let see how to overcome this fear.
So, if you want to change your career, for example, or change the country where to live, or to do anything that you wish to, you need to have a PLAN!
I mean a savings plan.
I suggest you read this book by Dave Ramsey.
It makes you think differently about money.
Let’s take, for example, career change.
You will need to count how much money it will cost you to change your career path.
Maybe you need to come back to school or university, or perhaps it is enough to take a short course or do an internship.
And if it is low or not paid at all, how much money you need to have to provide for your need.
And then the critical point in time.
How long does it take? You can stay a student forever.
You must di give yourself a time limit, data to change your career.
And then if it worth it, and trust when we are talking about a dream job, career change in a better direction, it always worth it.
So roll your sleeves and work hard!
Don’t forget that you must to have your emergency fund.
So, let’s recap:
And what are tips that you could suggest to overcome fears? Let me know about your experience in the comments below! Or write me an email. I always happy to get some new from you!